I have written two garbage pieces before coming to this one. This one could be my third garbage piece or my least garbage piece of the three that I end up posting – stay tuned.
I feel it’s stupid to say there are many different categories of feminists because it kind of feels like I’m saying “there are a lot of people with different personalities who call themselves feminists.” Yeah no shit. Stay with me here. Let’s be real and honest with ourselves – we’re human; we create schemas it’s how most of us retain abundances of information. We succumb to stereotypes and heuristics so let’s just be honest with each other. I’m not saying these categories are definite but when I mention them you’ll know what I’m talking about.
There’s the feminists who wear political graphic t-shirts; the ones who really like HAIM; the ones who really like Taylor Swift; the ones who really like Hillary Clinton; the ones who hate Hillary Clinton etc. You see where I’m going right? Well somewhere along the way there’s feminists like me: the ones whose feminism ends at their iTunes library.
I’ve tried through many research papers to justify and defend my position as a feminist that listens to Kanye West but I really can’t. I can’t explain why it’s okay for me to rap degrading lyrics about women in the car by myself as I jam to Kanye… is it okay? I constantly find myself asking why I reprimand my male peers for saying the same things I listen to admirably. I’m trying, here, to alienate the language used by my favorite rappers and the language I hear around me every day. Is Kendrick “girl I know you want this di**” Lamar woke? Am I allowed to say that?
Side note: if you’re interested in a feminist’s take on the gender identity culture of the black community in America and how that has influenced the way artists like Biggie and Jay Z speak about women and themselves, I recommend the book When Chickenheads Take Roost. It’s a good one!
The truth is, I’m too afraid to remand my favorite artists for the way they speak about women – because that means I have to choose between my musical preference and my ideologies. I’ve always been good at keeping the two separate, but it makes me a hypocrite.
Additionally, it’s always confounded me as to how I became a feminist when I grew up listening to these lyrics. I don’t know about you but as a kid of immigrants I grew up listening to what my older siblings listened to; my parents didn’t come to America with a record collection, that’s some white privilege shit get out of here.
One theory is that I grew up listening to these demeaning lyrics so much that I started to resent them and that’s what spiraled my radical feminism. That would make sense and make this entire identity crisis easy but I’m no liar! I listen to Lollipop Remix feat. Kanye West by Lil Wayne at least once a week.
Another theory is that I draw the line somewhere. Like I don’t listen to Eminem because he scares me. I think I tapped out with Eminem after he would tie her to the bed and set this house on fire. But that doesn’t make it any better. Drawing the line is a way of saying: demeaning language about women is only okay sometimes and depending on how catchy your song is I’ll make that decision then.
There’s no solution – I’m torn! My two identities will constantly be in battle with each other but I think that’s okay. So if you want to get down in your Ruth Bader Ginsburg shirt to Father Stretch My Hands Pt. 1 just know… I want an invite.
It's French 